Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Sigh

For the past two nights you have woken up after an hour or two of sleep.
Me or dad spring into action.
Picking you up and rocking you gently.

Your crying turns into a light squeal and then into soft mewing.

And finally, you quiet...

We rock and rock and rock from foot to foot (because we have no rocking chair here).
Swaying you back and forth trying to see how deep of a sleep you are in.

And then you sigh.

Your body relaxes and so does ours.

Your mouth moves and eyelids flutter and you go back to your sleep.

And I gaze at you...completely in awe that I had a hand in creating something as perfect as you.
I suddenly see your precious cheeks melting away into the face of a little girl then lady...

oh you are beautiful.

I slowly stop rocking...put my hands in the "ready-to-drop" position...
and place you back in your crib.

Happy that you are seemingly content to sleep some more and sad that I must leave you.

And then you fart.

With that, I know that I will love you forever.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


You have been almost there a couple of times...a chuckle here and there...maybe a squeal of delight.

But tonight you pulled out the big guns.

You laughed with so much abandon while all three of us danced to your fav. song*.

It was so wonderful, and I hope I remember it forever.
I can't wait to hear that laugh forever and ever!!!

*I try to not be ashamed that it is Amy Whinehouse, but thankfully it is obscure and it is your aunt's theme song-named after her.  And it is catchy, dangit!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Mommy and Me Monday

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious?
Hosted by Krystyn

It is Mommy and Me Monday again.

When getting Cdubs ready for bath time, I had a flashback:

~~insert Wayne's World: duddilie doo-duddilie doo-duddilie doo~~~

When I was 13, I was lucky enough to have my cousin and her husband live with us while they were saving up for a house. My mom was raised with Pam as an older sister, and Pam lived with us during summers in college. Pam was ALWAYS the coolest. So halfway into the first year of living with us with her husband (who my brothers still think is the coolest human being on the planet), they announced they were pregnant. I was over the moon...I loved watching Pam have cravings for banana chips and warm orange Gatorade. And when her little girl, Caroline, was born...I was in love. I would come home every day and race to hold her, change her diaper and talk to her. Our favorite activity became: Superbaby.

While wearing her hooded towel, I would scoop her up and fly her around the room usually in full view of her mirror so she could giggle at that silly mirror-baby.

I had forgotten about superbaby until carrying Cdubs from one room to another half dressed. I had my flashback and told Kdubs to capture it for me:

Please forgive the sight of me...this was after a very difficult night of 2 hours of sleep.  
And please forgive Cdubs belly flash. 

Power fists...I love that serious face.

What do you make of this?

Well, I could make a hat, or a brooch, or a Pterodactyl...

I tried to find a video clip for this quote from Airplane.
So if you don't know it, I'm sorry. and if you do, you're welcome.

I have been learning my way around the Viennese markets and grocery stores and am starting to get the hang of cooking in Metric. So, I decided while cleaning out my tiny refridgerator to put to use some items that we close to expiring...even though it was a Sunday and I couldn't go to the store (yeah, they kick it old school and shut down everything that isn't touristy).

And here is what me and my pal, came up with:
(you just type in what ingredients you have and it gives you some possible recipes)

I had Red Currant Jelly (my MIL bought it thinking it was Cherry Jelly)--

Dijon-Herb Pork Roast
1 teaspoon minced fresh rosemary leaves
1 teaspoon minced fresh parsley
1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves
1 (2 1/2 pound) boneless pork loin roast
1/2 cup red currant jelly
1/4 cup Dijon-style mustard
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 cup Chicken Broth
1/2 cup whole-wheat bread crumbs
cooking spray

1. Mix rosemary, parsley and thyme. Cut small slits into surface of roast and stuff herb mixture into slits. Place in roasting pan. Roast at 325 degrees F for 1 hour.
2. Mix jelly, mustard, cornstarch and broth in saucepan. Cook and stir until mixture boils and thickens. Spoon about 1/4 cup broth mixture over roast. Sprinkle with bread crumbs and spray with cooking spray.
3. Roast 45 minutes or until done. Let stand 10 minutes. Serve with remaining broth mixture.

Okay here is where I had to get creative because of lack of ingredients:
I had pork chops instead of roast, so I just rubbed the spices I did have (rosemary and italian seasoning) on one side of the chop after salt and peppering. Poured the sauce over THAT (after making the sauce without cornstarch and very little broth-it really didn't need it in my opinion). sprinkled bread crumbs and put a few pats of butter on the top...why? CAUSE THEY DON'T SELL PAM HERE!!! It is outrageous I tell you!

Things they also don't have: brown sugar (you have to make your own, which I didn't know you could do, from regular sugar and molasses), vanilla extract (they have this stuff called vanilla zucker that is crystalized vanilla sugar), and measuring spoons!

But I was able to figure my way around this meal, which was good. Kdubs said it would be good over chicken too. I also have made banana bread and this next mysterious What-Do-You-Make-Of-This moment:

I had some sort of ready-made pie crust, cinnamon, sugar and I made cinnamon rolls-rugalach. I rolled out the dough, poured melted butter on it, sprinkled with cinnamon-sugar, rolled it back and cut into pinwheels. Now the dough was flaky and not dough when cooked...but add a little icing to it and it isn't bad!

So, this was my adventure in cooking this week.
***I have seem to have misplaced my spell check button on Blogger. So, please excuse my misspellings.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

5 reasons why your husband should not read your blog

Or 5 reasons why MY husband should not read MY blog:

5.) He corrects my grammar and tries to edit each post unsolicited.
After law school, he has become an editing Nazi. He even does menus when we go out.

4.) He asks about the people who comment. He wants to know about you all and what your blogs are like, but, I swear, only when i am half asleep or watching something important on TV like HIMYM.

3.) He doesn't understand my sarcasm written down. He gets it in person, but thinks I'm a jerk on "paper."

2.) Criticizes every picture of himself all the time!

1.) Doesn't understand that I use him for comedic effect. Kdubs is not you, honey...he is an exaggerated version of you.

I really love to feed

As mentioned in my previous post...breastfeeding started out as a literal pain!
She came out of the womb ready to latch and suck and eat like a champ, but my poor body couldn't keep up.
I had lacerated nipples and bruised aereolas like you wouldn't believe.

One night I was crying about it (in the shower, where I do my best crying) and Kdubs comes in and looks at me and says, "holy crap, your boobs look demolished!"*** I am sure I just smiled and nodded serenely...or I think I might have thrown something at him (something soft like a towel I'm sure) and said, "Uh, you think I'm crying in pain over a paper cut! After 33 hours of labor?!? really?"

After several weeks and one miraculous lactation consult later, I started to heal (special thanks to Earth Mama Angel Baby butter better than lanisnoh) and started to not dread feeding my little Suck-u-bis.

And just a few weeks ago, I realized I actually enjoyed it.

And I asked Kdubs to document it for me.
There were a lot of gratuitous boob shots, but he is a guy-go figure.
Here are some of the non-boob heavy shots:

We just went through another growth spurt (I think we are coming out the end of it, since she finally got off of the boob on her own accord). But it has been a lot of eating and not a lot of sleeping. But if the result is a big, happy baby, then I guess losing sleep is worth it.

This is my first time participating in the Mommy and Me Monday link from Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?
Go there to see more!

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious?
Hosted by Krystyn

***Kdubs says that he doesn't sound like a trucker, saying "HEY NAKED SHOWER LADY! YOU'RE BOOBS ARE DEMOLISHED." Instead he sweetly said, "wow I didn't realize that she was causing those lacerations and that I love to edit your blog unsolicited.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Fell in Love

Even though I have a ton more "practical" posts to write (about traveling, living overseas, how much of a joy and a pain it is to have a workaholic husband), I need to get this out.

The moment Cdubs came into this world, I cried.

Kdubs said something one day about crying because I was so happy, but I did not cry for joy. I cried simply because my body could not handle the emotions going on inside of me. Trying to verbalize what I was feeling at that moment I said, "it is like every emotion was coming out of me at the exact same time."

Joy, Fear, Exhaustion, Anxiety, Relief, Anticipation, Horror, Pride, and Peace. All at the same time.

After 41 and a half weeks of pregnancy and 33 hours of labor, I went into autopilot mode: Take care of this baby. Make sure I don't screw this up.

I was too nervous and tired to feel anything for a few weeks.

I smiled when people congradulated me.
I laughed when trying to make other people laugh at my nocternal baby.
I cried hormonal tears.
I cried pain tears at breast feeding.
and I definitely cried tired tears.

After 3 weeks of breast feeding pain and exhaustion over her getting her days and nights on track, I got up for another diaper change in the middle of the night. I put her on the changing table and looked down with bleary eyes and....she smiled.*

And that was it.

I fell in love.

I fell in love the same manner I fell in love with Kdubs. I just hung around them at first because they were cute, and both of them slowly chipped away at my heart. Until one moment, I blinked and I knew...that I loved them and would do anything to make them smile like that again.

*Now, you can say that smile was gas or just exercising muscles, but I say that God knew I was at my end and let her show me that all of it was worth it.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Pros and Cons of Visitors

We have had parents in and out the past three weeks...
-Someone to hold the baby whenever I need to eat, cook, or pee.
--Someone to come out and explore this new city with me.
---someone to talk to when Kdubs goes into his manic workaholic phase.

-Having to be a constant hostess and tourist.
--not being able to get into a routine.
---not having any alone time with Kdubs

Even with a few cons, I am very nervous about them leaving. I am worried about being over here by myself, especially when Kdubs goes to crazy workaholic phase.

The baby has been still in flux especially at night, and I am still tired a lot. I wish I could nap and nap and nap, but no can do.
Such as life with a baby, right?

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

First of many mom-judgements

I was in an Austrian version of a homegoods store today when a lady passed me with her baby sitting in the seat portion of the shopping cart. The baby was sitting up straight and very animated and holding onto the handlebars very excited for the outing.


She had to be several months older than Cdubs developmentally but she couldn't have been any bigger than her...maybe even smaller!

This just affirms my suspicions that Cdubs is to Austrian infants what Godzilla is to the people of Japan.

But more pink and gummy (well, I am not sure that is the case for long...she might be teething?!?)