Lark News

So I was cruising around a great site of my friends, and I stumbled over this website called LarkNews.com. Now she claims it is a site that would be the daily show for chrisitian churches. Skeptically, I clicked the link.



And Boy howdy was I in for a laugh. There are funny articles and whatnot similar to the Daily Show, but my favorite is the t-shirts. Here are some of the best:

It says: You Suck, which is why you need Jesus

Jesus Loves You, Then Again he loves everybody.

Cartoon Time

As you know, I am a collector of all cartoons political and funny. So here are some in my inbox, I thought I'd share:

False Products

If you ever want to know what annoys me, on the list with badly smelling people, people who suck air/spit through their teeth, and shrinking my clothes in the wash is products that lie about what they are. Some of you know that I am an infomerical FREAK! You know that these products are not built to last or going to solve the worlds problems but they WILL do as advertised (help you grab food while whisking, fold your laundry evenly, or chop up food without messing up your hands). Now I'm not saying that they work out 100%, but you take what you can for the low low price of $19.99.
I have recently fallen in love with dried fruit (i don't know why), so on my recent and many grocery trips I thought I'd try this:

The package says "MANGO FLAVORED PINAPPLE." Now to me that suggests that their are dried chucks of pinapple that are flavored to tast like mango....but I look at the fruit...and its not chucks, its weird oblong slices (AH! like a mango would be sliced)...and it tastes like pinapple but my tastebuds maybe tricked out by the MANGO FLAVORED PINAPPLE lable. do you think they actually meant to say Mango: flavored pinapple?

Now I know you are asking, "Alex, why are you freaking out about whether the shrivled up piece of fruit leather is pinapple flavored like mango or mango flavored to be pinapple?" The answer is that I like it but I AM COMPLETELY WEIRDED OUT that I CAN'T TELL!

so this annoys me, can you tell?

My Husband is the Best!

My superhero husband: Why is he so great?
because he wears a silly mustache in the middle of the airport
And dances like this for my entertainment
He also cleaned the entire apartment to suprise me...Man, He is way to good to me!

I almost Peed my pants!

OH My goodness! The folks over at PopSugar have delivered me a gem. This is the scariest and funniest thing I have seen in a long time. If you have ability to laugh out loud (which I really didn't when I saw this), then by all means watch it. If not, be forewarned that you will make some awful noises trying to keep the laughter contained.

Here is the link: http://gigglesugar.com/68442
(I can't remember to hyperlink with no Mac, this switching back from Mac to PC is killin' me, y'all!)

If you like celebrity gossip, fashions that you can't afford, and fitness tips, you should really keep up with this webiste.

Transfering Inspiration from Myspace

Because I have been lacking some inspiration about what to post about recently (and the time)...I am taking a questionarre from Mysapce and using it here. So if you have seen this before, I am sorry....share your quirks with me!
70 QUIRKS ABOUT ME -

1. Initials:
AEW (it used to be ALE I wanted to marry a guy with the last name X so my initials would spell my name...I was sure Mr. Xylophone was out there!)

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
Hulk Hogan (OOOH Yeah!)

3. Last thing you ate?
Organic Reduced Fat Ruffles (better than baked and uber tasty!)

4. For or against same sex marriage?
as a policy, I'm not really for it, but as a matter of public interest I do want people to be happy....and denying people that happiness is not for me to decide.

6. Last person you hugged?
well, I am going to just guess it was Ken :-)

7. Are you single.
not for awhile now

8. How many U.S states have you been to?
Georgia, Michigan, Florida, Alabama, NC, SC, Virginia, DC, Lousiana, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Jersey, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Illinois, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, Idaho,

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in:
Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Michigan

10. Ever lived outside of the US:
Nope, just roaming around the US

11. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My eyes and on good days my hair

13. Who is your best friend?
Ken is the ultimate best friend, but EB, Steph, and Pearce are the best friends with no Y chromosome. Crouton is definatey the oldest bestest friend.

14. Why are you still up?
Helping Ken study

15. Who made you angry today?
Well, there is some people at the crowded grocery store that aren't on my most loved day. But there is a girl at work that is on my hit list

16. Favorite type of Food?
French Fried

17. Favorite holiday:
Christmas: and its getting close!!!!

18. Do you download music:
Just a little, but I really love downloading audiobooks

19. Do you think Elvis is still alive?:
No, but it would be funny if he was still around like Kenneth Lay

20. Have you ever lied about being in love with someone?
No, but I've only been in love once.

21. First Song on your iPod?
Brother John by Blues Traveler

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Ugh, some cheesy guys or people looking for tips.

23. Do you love anyone?
Of course

24. Do you like Bush?
There are things I like very much about him.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No way, I do not want to support my local chiropractor

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting:?
YES! The Snake and the French Broad (about 13 times: every summer at camp)

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Some years ago, in a land far far away called Greenville, SC there is a local dive karaoke bar where a 60 year old man uttered the phrase while I was eating a tootsie roll pop, "can I have lick of your lollipop, don't worry I didn't brush my teeth but I don't have them in." NICE!

28. How much money ya got?
I have got a few crinkled dollars from my laundry

29. Have you met a real redneck?
um, I'm from Georgia!

30. How is the weather right now?
Getting ready to snow!!! I'm not sure if I"m excited or nervous

31. What are you listening to right now:
Shallow Hal on FX

32. What is your current favorite song?
Too many songs to love....but I have been getting into Country and Christmas music recently

33. What is the last movie you watched:
uh, Shallow Hal...but I just finished Something's Gotta Give...its such a great movie!

34. Do you wear contacts:
No, but I always wanted glasses

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Krogers...on a Saturday....craziness

36. What are you afraid of?:
PIGEONS, birds in general, and bad people out to get me!

37. How many piercings and tattoo's do you have?:
One in each ear that I barely use

38. How many pets do you have:
none, but I want a puppy so bad I can't see straight

39. What's one thing you've learned?
Don't let people bring you down, stand up for yourself

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
a plain coffee, or a non-fat Vanilla latte

42. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yeah, but not in awhile. My mom is going to take me to the shooting range when i go home.

43. Are you missing someone?
my friends, definately

44. Fav. TV show?
Gilmore Girls, Heroes, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

45. Do you have an iPod?
Yeah, I never thought that would happen.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Drew Barrymore (when I was little)...other than that Ken has some crazy ideas, but I won't share them

47. Do you like ponytails on men?
ew no...its just a glorified mullet

48. Who would you like to see right now?
My brother, Bo, Steph, EB

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Best in Show, Bride and Prejudice

50. Do you find yourself loved?
(this is kinda a stupid question) Very much

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
ummm yeah...there is a story about a car, a boyfriend, and a cop...but its really silly

52. Favorite flower:
daisies and peach roses

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Salted...mmmm..salt

54. What Magazines are you reading:
I read alot of online magazines but nothing on paper anymore.

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo:
sure, a few times

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
yes, my grandfather when i was 11

57. Do you love David Hasselhoff?:
I love to laugh at him

58. What's something that really bugs you?:
snotty people and people driving while talking on cell phones

59. Favorite 80s song?
The Next to Be With You, Mister Big

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Never really got into MJ

61. Whats your favorite smell?
Dryer Sheets

62. Favorite basketball team:
I guess Pistons, but Ken is the big NBA fan

63. Favorite cereal:
I hate cereal other than Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Rice Krispies (in treat form), and Life (with no milk)

64. Do you drive:
Yes...alot more than I did in DC

65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
I always fall asleep, but I have gone with only an hour or so when I was writing papers.

66. Last time you went bowling?:
Its been awhile, but I am ready to go soon!!

67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
In front of the Bi-Lo center waiting for tickets for Dave Matthews Band (that I didn't even want to see! Thanks Steph!)

68. Who was your last phone call?
my mother in law

69. Last time you were at work?
Left yesterday at 1pm...I had a 12 hour work day the day before

70. Whats your favorite state to be in?
The republic-of-next-to-Ken....or georgia!

Disappointing Halloween

After being in a high-rise apartment building full of singles, couples with no kids, and old people, I was looking foward to having trick-or-treaters this year. I was going to wear something silly and throw candy at children...really is there a better way to spend the evening?

I rushed home after work (this was the night before my first event for A2-Alz. Assoc, so I was freaking), picked up Ken from school, forgot I had no candy, rushed to the store, grabbed the only candy that wasn't that gross black-and-orange silly-putty-taffy candy, and turned my porch light on and waited. And waited...and waited. Nothing happened...no kids prancing around as a Telletubie or punk rocker. I am very dissapointed and very sick of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups--Ken likes them so I got alot to give him the extra, but not we are way too chockful of peanuty "goodness."