Thursday, August 06, 2009

Boy, Girl or Neutral?

The number two question we are asked (after "when is the due date?") is "Do you know what you are having?"

And we get a very strong reaction on both sides when we say, "oh, we're not finding out till it comes out!" or "we're going to be surprised."

People like my mom and brothers say things like, "How can I buy things if we don't know the gender?!?" "How are you going to be surprised...are you surprised by a coin toss...WOHOO! It's TAILS!" "Ugh, I couldn't wait to find out!"

Other people like my midwife and my mother-in-law are very enthusiastic about not knowing. They think it is great fun.

Really we decided on this for a couple of reasons:
1.) I think it will give me an extra reason to push! and I love surprises but always spoil them.

2.) I am the most impatient person in the world and thought that if I could test my patience with this that I may actually have some patience in me somewhere!

3.) I think it is more fun to tell people on the birthday..."Its a BOY/GIRL! and we've named it ________" rather than having everything picked out and saying, "So, ________ is here." (I know it is silly and small but it is something that I want to have for my first pregnancy at least.)

4.) Even if we didn't tell people a name, I didn't want to be smug and tell people: "yeah, we know but we're not telling."

5.) I like being difficult and doing things my own you couldn't tell that about me.

6.) Kdubs didn't care about knowing so that made the decision even easier. If he wanted to know or wanted to find out without me...I would totally buckle down to pressure.

7.) I also have heard that if you don't know that you get more practical gifts for showers, which is great. And since I don't know where we will be when this baby is born, I don't want to be moving a bunch of extra baby stuff. And not knowing the gender has really tempered my mom's desire to spoil this kid already.

So did you find out? What were the benefits in your mind either way?


Jessi said...

I agree with/have also heard all of your points. We are not pregnant (YET) but are not planning to find out. I figure the baby sleeps in the bassinet for awhile anyway, so we'll order the linens once they arrive. I think this is the one thing that is TRULY a surprise and think it is wonderful you are not finding out. In fact, I think maybe the trend might be swinging back that way a little bit.

Pages' Page said...

I love this! I think it's great not to find out, but I just wasn't able to not find out because I can't stand not knowing things. I now wish that I hadn't found out. Your reasons 1 and 7 are the best. I think I would have been more mentally with it in labor if I knew that I was about to discover this great surprise. Good for you to be surprised!

Jenny said...

We found out with both of ours...but if I were to have a 3rd, I might wait. The only benefit to finding out is the obvious - buying gender specific STUFF. But, in the end, that really doesn't matter too much. I don't regret what we did, but do think it would be fun to try it the "old fashioned way". :) I can definitely see how it adds a little more excitement!

Krystyn said...

I couldn't agree more. We didn't find out with both girls and we kept all names to ourselves. You should add in another reason for that "oh, really (insert name choice here)? wow, I really don't like that." Because, I know my family would do that!

It really is so much fun having your hubby announce the sex of the baby, too. Our midwives were good like that, we asked them not to announce it!

The Mrs. said...

you make good points. We found out, a. we suck at surprises. b. we are planners (see a) and c. flyboy was at war and deployed. God forbid something happen or he wasnt back in time he really wanted to know and well when we found out with one, we just kept going with the rest.

Vanessa said...

I love the idea of not finding out - but I couldn't stand the thought of not planning! Your list is so funny - and so true! It was still a great surprise for us the day of the big ultrasound and we invited our parents to come and be there too to find out the sex! Hope you're doing well!

Susan said...

We found out what we were having. I'm a big planner person and couldn't wait. I needed to know!! Even with knowing we didn't have everything ready but my son came early. Start doing things now. :)