Wednesday, July 01, 2009

OMG! I am having a Baby Freak out # 1

Up until today, I have been able to keep my OMG-I'M-HAVING-A-BABY fears in check. Maybe it is the hormones that have been blissing me out or not really feeling pregnant or having too much on my mind. But today in the grocery store (after being completely PMSy to Kdubs for 24 hours), it hit me...panic.

Walking through the baby aisle at Kroger (which I usually never do, but I got lost in a new Kroger and decided to chance it), I saw the diaper aisle and freaked:
SHOULD I CLOTH DIAPER THIS KID!?!?! WHAT IF I CAN'T?!?!?! HOLY HELL THIS IS GOING TO SUCK!!!!
***Kdubs and I have been talking about cloth diapering for awhile. I know, laugh all you want, I am not the most green person out there and that is not why I'm considering it. I'm considering it for 2 reasons: 1. Kdubs really wants me to try (he is bit more crunchy than me and says he will consider it garbage and take of it (see here for relevance--#95 and 96) and 2. people have said, "you can't/shouldn't do it" which is the best way to get me to try. So a lot of this fear is related to the people saying "you can't/shouldn't" being right.

Then I saw the baby food section and freaked:
UGH, SHOULD I MAKE MY OWN BABY FOOD..WHAT IF THAT IS HARD?!?!?...HOW DO YOU DO THAT??...DO I HAVE TO PEAL PEACHES? HOW DO YOU PEAL A PEACH!?!?!?

Then I saw the formula section and freaked:
THAT SHIZZ IS EXPENSIVE!!!! I HOPE I CAN BREAST FEED!!! WHAT IF I CAN"T!?!?! IT"S GONNA HURT AND I"M GOING TO PUSS OUT!!!

I think this all stems from the guilt I felt for drinking a diet coke at that moment. My doctor said one diet coke a day would not hurt anything but I hate that I have fallen back on the wagon. It just makes me so happy. UGHS!

Btw. my friend (okay she is more of a wife of a friend of my husband--but I went to her baby shower so we'll just say friends, right) became a new mom 3 days ago and I just found out she is having a not so awesome time with breast feeding. This is not helping my fears. This woman is awesome...she is a nurse in a infant surgery wing, so she is kick ass with babies. I mean I know that doesn't mean she is a master breast feeder but still! Speaking of her, I need to figure out a way to get her to be a real friend before this peanut comes out so I can utilize her new knowledge. She is one of the few prego people I really liked (while she was prego) because she is snarky and witty and even keeled....I MUST MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER???

Do you think calling her up (never talked to her on the phone before) 3 days after the birth of her child and bombarding her to be my friend is too much?

yeah, me too...
I'll try the gradual facebook communication...

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure she could use a break from the crazy new baby-ness so calling up to chat, or stopping by with something soothing would be great. That said - I've never even been preggo, so I could be way off the mark here. But hey, who doesn't like hearing from TRS?

And, I don't know if this'll help at all, but I really do feel like you're going to be a great mom. Your kid's going to be lucky to have you - even if he/she is born addicted to Diet Coke ;-)
Love, Cita

Erin said...

Oh sister! I am sorry you are going through a fear stage, but that is perfectly normal! :)

As far as breastfeeding goes, just make sure you have a lactation specialist come visit you int he hospital. :) We'll share our stories together ! It won't be easy, but we'll try!

Red and White Preppy said...

I obviously have no experience in this area, lovely lady, but I will say this: You're going to be a great mom, and your kid is going to always be laughing because of your wonderful sense of humor!

XOXO

The Mrs. said...

First, I must say that except for some brief episodes (and ok those were toe curling) breastfeeding doesnt hurt much. I was able to BF both boys for the entire first year, I refused to go anymore after that and they weaned themselves. super simple. But it works for some and not for others. Incidentilly enough, boys seem to take to it better then girls.... wonder why...

Second, some woman made me feel bad once because I didnt make my own baby food. Cripes, I was feeding the kid sweet potatoes at the time not marshmallow fluff didnt I get credit for that?

I thought about cloth diapering this one, but well, I hear the disposable ones calling my name. And I hear to get the best bang for your buck its best to start with your first and carry over the diapers. And for ease, I've known some moms who cloth at home and use disposable ones out in public. I figure I scrap the poop into the toliet and recycle my other trash isnt that enough?

The point, you do what you can. You learn as you go. And you save for therapy. For them not you.

And you know if you ever have mommy freak outs, you can always email me or even call. Dont mind the screaming kids in the background.

Really, hang in there, you're going to be a great mom.

Krystyn said...

Deep breaths!

I thought about cloth diapers...but if you use daycare...you can't use them there.

You can totally do babyfood; I have a book by Ruth Yaron called Superbaby food and it tells you how to do it. It is super easy. And, you peel a peach with a vegetable peeler..works quite well.

And, I don't know if you saw my post...I was venting about formula. You do what works and make other stuff work.

It really does all work out:)

amanda said...

i ditto what the mrs and krystyn said....

first deep breaths. this is the first of many crazy fear panic mommy attacks. i'd love to tell you they go away but they don't :) welcome to mommyhood!

but seriously no matter what decisions you make, they will be the right ones for you and the babe. and that's all that matters. promise.

Susan said...

First, it's going to be okay.

About the diapers.... I did disposable b/c I was...well lazy. But if you are interested there are some neat options. I like the idea of cloth at home and disposable out.

Breastfeeding can be difficult in the beginning but try to not give up. If it doesn't work the baby will be just fine.

Just take things one at time. You'll be a great mom!

laugheveryday said...

I hope breastfeeding works out for you too because you are correct, sir, formula is EXPENSIVE. We spend probably thirty dollars a week on it, but we use the Target brand generic and that helps a little or it would be more like 50.

On cloth diapers - remember that if you use them they have to be cleaned very carefully in extremely hot water to kill any bacteria and so there is an environmental impact of that as well (look at me trying to make myself feel better) - the good news is that disposable diapers aren't plastic nightmares like they used to be... the fibers are much more biodegradable...

You're going to do GREAT! All of these things will work themselves out.

Loukia said...

Hey! Just found you through McMommy... just wanted to say and yay on being pregnant! Loving your blog. Good luck with the maternity clothes shopping. You will see lots of loud and annoying prints and lots of bows. Argh. I did not love mat clothes, that's for sure.