Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Changing: Growing Up or Will Power

Disclaimer: I'm going to get all "thinky" on you right now. So if you want a light, fun post (okay all my posts are light and fun but this is not trying to be!), go down to my SATC discussion.

I got to thinking this morning (I know, I don't usually do that without several cups of caffeine but I had to get up extra early for KW's new internship that started today...so I had to fill the time somehow). I started thinking about my personality and how it has changed over the years.

As a teenager, my main ambition in life was to blend in the walls, mainly because I was scared of doing something wrong. But how I wanted to be effortlessly cool and fun. To think, "I don't care if you don't like what I am doing" not the goth-angsty way...the fun, breezy, laugh-out-loud way. I wanted to have a lot of friends and have a full social calendar, but I was crippled by social fear. Maybe I was an extrovert trapped in an introvert's body.

When I got to college (the first night to be exact), I decided I was not going to be scared anymore. I have probably wrote about this before or talked about it in person-it was kinda a big deal for me. I jumped in literally (to a singing circle at a karaoke night-dancing like a fool). I have not really looked back.

I think most people would consider me pretty outgoing...I'm definitely silly. And I generally do not care if I make a fool of myself.

But here is the question: Did I decide to change myself to a different person or did I just grow up to become the person I was inside?

I have changed from a tom boy to a preppy girl in the past 7-8 years (i think that was a decision-type of change)AND I have become more easy going (I think that is growing up and living with KW).

But if I wanted to become a more jovial, happy-go-lucky person, could I decide to be more like that and just be that way (instead of my sarcastic humor ridden self) or would I look like a person acting like someone else? In an effort to "fake-it-till-you-make-it," would I look like Karen Walker's sarcastic-uppers-induced happy?

In a sense, I think I could, esp. if I was moving again. When I move, I always end up "tweaking" myself. Whether it is taking what I learned at my previous location and changing it to the new (ie. when I moved from DC and started dressing nicer) or making a decision to be someone new (ie. going to college and deciding to be more outgoing).

Does anyone else do this? Is it just me? Do you think I could change myself in the middle of being somewhere? I wonder if I will revert to my old self if I ever move back home?

Food for Thought...yum.


Cita Online said...

Hrmmm. I think we all adapt ourselves to our new situations, whether going to college, moving to a new city, or etc.

Shakespeare said "To thine own self be true." I guess we can do that, and improve ourselves through some self-tweaking, too.

Ideally we're always tweaking ourselves to become better versions of ourselves, right?

Lauren said...

I think some parts of change can be explained by growing up and some by making the choice. I think either change is good. If we stayed the same our entire life, that would be boring. I am constantly trying to grow - whether spiritually, in my relationships, etc.

Enjoy your week!

Amber said...

I think we all evolve over the years. Whenever I go home, I change externally to adapt but my core has always remained the same. Now that I am most comfortable in my own skin, that makes these evolutions that much easier!

Amber said...

I think we all evolve over the years. Whenever I go home, I change externally to adapt but my core has always remained the same. Now that I am most comfortable in my own skin, that makes these evolutions that much easier!

trying said...

I think change is just another word for growing up. Its amazing to think back to the person you were at 15 then 18 then 21 then your late twenties (I havent reached the other ages so I'll report back). There is so much room for growth and maturity (of course the down side of that would be those that dont quite seem to get the growth memo) that I dont think you can end up being the same person.

Life experiences, meeting new people, being exposed to new places, all that leaves a mark and helps you form a new frame of mind. And in my opinion that can happen anywhere, even in the middle of somewhere and even at home.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

I totally agree with Amber. When ever come home I kind of revert back to my younger self... well maybe not younger self, but since i am a little more comfortable with my family I different more fun side comes out :)

amanda said...

i think the changes come along with new life chapters. there is always going to be that little seven year old in there, but new chapters bring out new "parts." new experiences equal new feelings and character traits.

it's a good thing i think. we just become a little more seasoned. the hard part is sometimes just embracing it :)

ps - thanks for the funny clip!! i love watching him - sooo funny and sooo true!!

Leigh said...

Interesting thought, but I thik it is just a part of life and growth within ourselves-determined on what is going on in our lives, where we are going, who we are influenced by, etc...