Sunday, March 16, 2008

Crazy in Love

I love my job.

This is the first time in my ENTIRE life that I have loved my boss, my duties, my colleagues, my environment....EVERYTHING about my job.

This makes things interesting because it is the first time ever that I wouldn't "rather be pregnant/mom" automatically.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a baby, but I would regret giving up this amazing opportunity for my job.

I recently was given a promotion (yea, me!) but it might separate me and KW...

So I am conflicted...

I will take this job but I am sad that I will have to start picking my career over family...
then I start thinking about working when I have kids.

I have always thought that I would be a stay at home mom when I had kids (that is why I am putting my husband through a very expensive law school, right?).

Now that I love my job, I am wondering if I would want to give it up to be with my children. I'm sure I would but I am now having that age old question:

Passion for work vs. Passion for your children.

Did any of you go through this? What do you think?


my wonderful men... said...

I want to leave you a comment about this but I don't have time right now. I'll be back. Interesting post.

Brandon & April said...

Oh man...sticky sticky! You'll know what is right when the time comes. If you can make that first drop off at daycare without too much trouble..then you should be able to have a healthy balance. I know women who do both and find that the women who work usually are able to find a balance. It seems that it does take time but if you are willing then you should be able to make it work!

Robin said...

I'm kinda with April's first thoughts--15+ years ago, I was marketing director for a continuing care retirement community; I LOVED all aspects of my job (minus love for my boss :/). I worked up until the Friday before I gave birth to my daughter on Monday. My plan was to take a 3-month leave (they were gonna let me!), then return part time.

Ugh...after six weeks, when Rachel started "becoming", I knew I couldn't go back. It wasn't planned, I LOVED my job...but...her smile? I just couldn't leave it.

Interestingly, when she was about 10 months old, I found my way to some part time jobs--nursery director for my church (and prior to that I didn't just have a "general love" for kids), and I was able to consult at my previous employer. I continued working these part time jobs until we moved almost five years ago to TN. kids are 10 1/2, 14 & 15 (yikes!)...and I'm thinking about returning to the "real" job market again.

Wild...kinda scary thought, but I do miss that kind of stimulation, being able to make a contribution somewhere...).

You'll know when you know; until then, don't worry too much :).

The Roaming Southerner said...

NOT WORRY?!?! wow, I don't know if I know how to do that?!?!


my husband's favorite line to me is: "what does worrying do?"

and my mom says, "Worrying is misplacing your trust in God."

Both true but I can't stop. It is my emotional Diet Coke.

trying said...

I just stumbled on your blog from another one and I enjoyed reading. I hope you dont mind if I offer up what my thought process is on this. I have two little boys 3 and 15 mths so this is something that goes round and round my mommy brain often.

I LOVED my job before we had kids. LOVED every aspect of it. Like you said, the boss, the duties, the colleagues, every last drop. But for us it seemed like an easy decision. My husband is a Marine aviator and even when he isn't conventionally deployed he is rarely home. It just seemed to bring kids into that type of environment, where one parent was already gone so much and missing out on so many things, it wasn't really fair to them to not have the other parent around as much as possible. Not to mention practical since I'm amazed at the amount of time I spend at the doctors with two kids!

There are actually days that I miss work, I miss getting dressed and going off to accomplish an actual task list but at the same time I cant see how I could give 100% to both. I'm not willing to skimp on what I give to my children and I don't think that I would be satisfied just punching the clock and not giving a full 100% to work either. I really felt that if I brought children into this world then it was my responsibility to raise them if the situation allowed.

Congrats on your promotion! I hope I havent offended with my opinion. : )

my wonderful men... said...

I said I would come back, and here I go.

I never planned on being a working mom but my first husband, well that's another story.

I worked and raised my son by myself for the first part of his life and then I met my second husband when I came to work for his family business. I knew his dad and sister from church.

I thought I would get to be that stay at home mom once we married but I was also married to my job at the family business that I just couldn't stop working.

I couldn't for medical reasons have any more babies, so I really didn't need to be at home full time. Then my son was getting older and he is able to be home for an hour or so till we get there or sometimes he has sports, it works out.

I will tell you I do have a guilt train I pull everyday because I wasn't the stay at home mom I wanted to be. But, if you were to ask my son about how was life with a working mom? He would tell you something like this - Well, I'm a lot more mature and better at taking care of myself than someone else my age. My mom doesn't have to do things for me like other kids my age, who act like babies. My mom still does her best to make it to all my school stuff.

I know this because I've asked him how he feels and this is what he tells me. As a mother I still feel guilty even though he turned out great.

It's what you feel in your heart is best for you and your family. It can be balanced very well. I'm blessed to work for family and have a flexable schedule.

Just keep this in mind - it's not how much time you spend with your children, it's the quality of that time you spend with them. Some mother spend 12hrs and scream the whole time not once saying I love you. Others only spend 1 hour and it's good quality time and they said I love you 10 times. Something to think about.