Friday, January 25, 2008

Square Pegs and Self Realization


Ah! So the blogging dialogue starts: My favorite city singleton blogger has now called me out of my foxhole, called me out Red Rover style to respond to her blog of coolness. Not really. But she has called me out on my sh*t.

She has seen through my bull and drawn the lines acurately: when I said my blog doesn't fit in, I am saying that I don't fit in, and I really have never fit in...and maybe that bothers me.

In short, it bothers/ed me some but not enough to change my ways. Like Lea, I feel that I am too nerdy for the cool kids, not quick enough for the smart kids (somehow, I always felt inferior in both ways to Lea--who is truly the only person I know who can be over intellectual and a "cool kid" (fashion, going out, clever sayings, tv) in the same minute). I am not particularly athletic but enjoy sports enough because I get to hang out with boys. I like makeup and fashion but pretty lazy about putting it into practice when it means 30 minutes of sleep. I also always had a fixed set of right and wrong...maybe it is the Catholic guilt or parental dogma/strong moral compass that just let me know that when I wasn't smoking, wasn't underage drinking, or defending the fact that I'm married at a youngish age that I wasn't doing something wrong or missing out.

This is all to say maybe I am a square peg in a round hole as Lea suggests (sometimes I embrace it, sometimes I try to act like my square has rounded edges) but maybe I am in good company.

*A note on Lea: we met when she came to work at my old office in DC. While I had a whole 6 months seniority and years of wisdom, she outshined me quickly with her sparkling hair, shoes, writing, and wit (and our boss is always impressed by sparkles). I always kinda equate Lea with the younger sister that is always way cooler than you, makes you feel inferior, hang on to the inches of height that you can lord over her, and constitently be amazed at what she does.

3 comments:

LKK(iller) said...

You are far too kind to me, Alex.

This Military Mama said...

Hey! I got tagged with my first Meme! Check it out...cause I tagged you to do it next!

Pennies In My Pocket said...

I think you fit in more than you think ... but I know what you mean. It can feel like high school sometimes, huh?

~melody~