Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Up and Down

Dad came home on Saturday....and it was wonderful.

And then...I got sick on Sunday....on top of the baby not sleeping at all.  She is getting up every hour or two crying....when we flip her back on her stomach and pat her back, she is fine.  But this is getting old!

Then on Monday he had some problems with his heart rate. They told us to come to the ER.  They gave him some medicine and sent him home in a few hours.

After three days of feeling gross and not sleeping, I needed sleep. I went to bed early early only to not be woken by the baby but my mom saying they needed to go to the hospital.  Dad was having another episode.

My mom is not a good person to wake up at certain times at night.  There are hilarious stories about my dad telling her it was her turn to turn off my monitor (I was on a breathing monitor for many months as a baby)...my mom turned off the VHS...came back to bed and socked my dad in the stomach.  Last night was similar.  She couldn't find certain documents even though they were in her hand.  She freaked out about leaving her glasses at home and wanted to drive back before dropping off my dad...it is not good.

We are getting ready to go back to Vienna on Sunday...now, I'm not sure what to do.

He has been checked into the hospital for a few days because his heart rate is not stabilizing.  To say this sucks is an understatement.

I will be honest...I was not thrilled about going to Vienna again and leaving my family...now it seems impossible to do.

My dad says, "you are not a medical professional...you are not needed." 
Kdubs says, "If you need to stay, stay."

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I have no idea what to do.

Do I stay and let Kdubs go on without me?  That means, a.) being away from him...b.) going back to Vienna by myself...c.) no knowing when we are going to be back together in a "norm" again.

Do I go and not be here for my family?  What if they DO need me?  What if...

I am putting my faith in that God will make this decision clear before Sunday. 
But I am also praying for more sleep...I'm not sure which I am praying for harder.

5 comments:

amanda said...

i wish i had the right answer...hoping that it does present itself before sunday and you can be at peace with whatever you decide.

in the meantime hoping you get some much needed sleep. and sending lots of prayers and healthy thoughts to your dad!

Erin said...

Oh goodness, A! I am so sorry to hear about your daddy. I am sure that is so hard.

I also am sorry to hear about C not sleeping well. Ugh, I am sure that is getting old, and with little sleep you're patience must be running thin.

I will be praying for God's peace and clarity for you. Hugs.

Cita Online said...

And I am praying for you. This is really rough. Hang in there and get some sleep!

Krystyn said...

Praying that the right answer comes to you (or already did), because I really don't know what I would do, either.

The Mrs. said...

As another someone away from family {although you WAY trump me on distance} my vote would be to stay. STAY STAY STAY

you'll appreciate it later on

prayers for you and your dad