Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Point of it all

The beginning of the year has brought me to many realizations about my blog:

1.) I enjoy looking back at my year of blogging consecutively-I have blogged for a few years now but I usually let weeks/months lag between posts.

2.) I am STILL struggling with what is the POINT of this blog.

I am not a mom blog. I am not an angsty teen blog (okay, I'm angsty at times, I admit it).
I don't have cool obsessions like Happy Hour Sue. I can't take pictures of my dog every day like Dooce (stinking rescue dog and her fear of all things camera). I don't have the fashion prowess to talk about all things stylish like the Preppy Princess. I don't have the following or cash for magnificent giveaways like the Pioneer Woman.

3.) I am as lazy with my blog redesign as I am in real life. Wish I was better. I am like the interior decorator that lives in boxes and out dated styles. I love redesigning and organizing others lives but I can't carve out enough time to do my own.

4.) I am not a great writer but I am really going to work on that this year. The blog has helped so much, but writing is not my forte. My ADD-dyslexic-Tom-Cruise-crazy (okay not that crazy) mind just can NOT formulate beautiful sentences.

Here are some realizations that I have about life outside of blog land:
1.) I am scared to DEATH of moving again in 4.5 months

2.) I am petrified to leave the friends I have made and the job that I once loved and now tolerate.

3.) I live in a constant state of desire to have kids and a house of my own coupled with fear of what they mean: Do I want to be a suburban soccer mom? I can't take care of a 3 room am I going to take care of a HOUSE!?! Can I really have and take care of kids, really?!?

4.) My crazy rat dog still makes me smile and laugh daily.

5.) I am really glad that I have not gained any weight during the holidays but I need to get with the getting on losing the last 10 lbs.

6.) This has probably been the best month of my entire marriage. I hope that I can continue saying that each month from now on. And know that when/if I can't, that this month will always be something that I look back on as the "best of times" to aspire to during the hard times.

Can I ask for some honest answers to this question? (this is evidently something I say a lot, according to K-dubs):
Any suggestions on what I should continue doing with the blog? Something else I should do that I don't? Anything?

Any body else going through craziness? I am sure I am the only one.


Mrs. S said...

Here is my take on it. I don't really fit into any category either...

so for me the only reason i write is because i like it. I am not particularly good at it. I am not very funny or witty. But it helps me.

I enjoy your blog...i think you should keep doing what you are doing.

amanda said...

u know where i stand on this issue. ok you know where i am currently teetering on this issue.

but for the record i get it. totally. and the reason i come here everyday in stalker like form is bc i love reading about your world. the funny. the struggles. all of it. you make me smile.

the end.


Jessica said...

oh my gosh...I think that I wrote this post and didn't know about it.

I struggle with all those things. I haven't been doing this only for like 6 months...but I'm always thinking "oh, I'm not funny...I have nothing to write about...everyone else has such good one reads this"

I think the reason any of us even have a blog is because we enjoy writing the posts and getting feedback and having a sense of "community" among other bloggers. We may not have a huge # of readers, or even have a point to the blog....but each one of us has something unique to bring to the table. Even if its just one funny, partially good post every 2 months.

Just enjoy the blog and stop worrying about how good it is, or how many people read it or if there is a purpose...just enjoy what it is and what it may become...

Oh...and I always loves reading your posts...

Mrs. S said...

Thanks for letting me know!! Those links are fixed now!

Buffalo Betty said...

Imagine Clairee Belcher after the funeral, "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
You'll get it; everyone else now thinks I'm a macabre nutjob :)

So glad to hear things are going well for you overall!

Anonymous said...

Oh Miss RS, if you only knew how many of us adore your blog just as it is. With exactly what you write.

But as the Queen of Bloggage Neuroses (we decided to go for the brass ring, simply bypassing angst), your thoughts on the blog make total sense. And ultimately, if you are not satisfied and pleased with it, you get to choose what you want alter.

But enough about that! We almost went misty-eyed on you when reading about your feelings on the last month with your wonderful Spousal Unit. And we know the thoughts about moving, we did that one to death. Every three years almost.

We do wish you would not be so hard on yourself. You really are such a delight, and so talented, we wish you would do a "I shall be nice to me" Day...?

Okay, now we feel like we may have gone totally over the line...

Sending good thoughts & a cyberhug your way,

Anonymous said...

Your blog is simply amazing because your life is simply amazing - the ups, the downs, the crazy moments. And I love getting to share in that by reading your blog, even when we can't see each other. There is nothing to change on the blog.

I know exactly what you mean about being scared to DEATH about leaving here. There is always the (very) slim possibility that we too will leave in 4.5 months, but even if that doesn't happen, there is the much more likely possibility that we may leave in 16.5. And that is enough to make me want to cry every time Juanacho mentions another state.

So happy to hear though that you just had an amazing month with your hubby. :)

And, PS, whether or not writing is your "forte" - you're a great writer. Why? Because I can hear your voice in your writing, AND I can practically see exactly what you're describing right in front of me - no pictures needed.

Love, Cita

Midwest Mommy said...

My addiction to blogging comes and goes. I have been known to take some breaks :-)

The Mrs. said...

I think everyone who blogs has ebbs and flows as it runs its course. I really enjoy your blog, your not a mom blogger or a mil blogger, to me your a young married blogger who writes about life. Whatever that might entail. Which is really what I think all of us are doing, or trying too. I myself am sometimes afraid of the mom or mil blogger tag. I hate to think that people out there are groaning as I post some other endless tail about my kids or life in the military but it comes down to writing about what your life is.

You write what you know, what you feel, what you need to work out in your head. You do it when you need to and you retreat when you dont. Or cant.

good luck figuring it all out and if you find the answer can you enlighten me!?

Krystyn said...

Love it just the way it is.

I think looking back, I go through phases. It's just how ever I'm feeling.

I think you should blog for you. Write about whatever moves you...whatever makes you happy...whatever makes you laugh.

If people read it, great. If not, you do it for you, right?

the ben show said...

Here's what your blog does and what YOU do - You're funny. You make people laugh. You critique pop culture and generally make people want to know you IRL. You KNOW what IRL means, which is something that many people can't say.

You love Ghostbusters and Bones and The Office and 30 Rock. You're my doppelganger.

Please keep writing. And don't worry about whether you could take care of a house. Your life opens up and makes room for things like a family or a home. When it's time, you'll be amazing. Until then. Keep blogging.